There once was a penguin who lived on like…a chunk of ice cubes.. a cluster of.. ice cubes…WATER THAT A GIRL NAMED LIZZY CAN CHEW.

Like.. OH EM GEE!

He had happy little feet, and a great…big…MAGICAL WAND…

OH EM GEE!

He was a magical…WAND-like penguin

He ran all around his chunk of cubes and turned seals into… ESKIMOS!

KABAMM!!

OH EM GEE!!

He grew evdevilicious with his  magical wand, and became a dictator over….YOUR MOM-dola…

Soon he was a powerful little tuxedo, who was incredibly.. EVDEVILICIOUS! But was really a happy bunny with a rigimorting grandpa on the inside. GRANDMAS TOO!

OH EM GEE!!!

One day he was chillin…yes like a trippin villain on his chunk of  ice cubes when a wetsuit floated  up to him… as he was staring over the edge at this wet suit.. A FREAKIN NUDEY (who I believe lost his wet suit..) APPEARED BEHIND HIM AND  THREW A SPEAR AND POACHED THE PENGUIN!

OH EM TRIPPIN GEE!

The penguin died..

The end.

OR SO WE THOUGHT?????

GASP, stay tuned for a sequel… MAYBE!!!!!!!

Possible name??

“THE MAGICAL PENGUIN AND HIS SECRET LOVE ROMANCE…WITH COLBIE CAILLAT!!! OH EM GEE!!!!” – Maybe she ate a baby!!

“The Magical Penguin”

“The Man in the Storm Drain”

“Psychadellic Potato Madness”

“The Monkey With no Bones”

I AM SOOOOOOO EXCITED! WOOO AWESOMENESS

Artichoke, Fartichoke… smelly old hearts.

Keep them in the fridge, and they might grow tart (like your grandpa)

They’re blue and like to eat green chunkies with your auntie at high noon.

They’re devilishly handsome and make any greasey girl swoon!

OH NO! Don’t you see????

When you put them in boiling water, not only do they drown!!! But they can’t speak!!

How can they tell you that the boiling water is scalding them when they can’t speak???

You cruel, inartichoke felbeastinal!!!!

Burn in pots and pans for your horrible awefulleries!

HOOT HOOT, shut up! You can’t talk owl! You’re burning in pots and pans!

Jittery dittery, giggly lil buggy choke-a-heart. Sing me a song to put out my back!

You run down the street,

STOP! DROP! ROLLLLLLLLLL you’re on bubbly water!

Gasp! Chinese fire drill it to the next depot.

Ms. Cellulite called.. she wants her cankles back.

Artichoke Fartichoke….smelly old grandpas

Keep them in the fridge and watch rigimortis set in. (like your expecto patronum!)

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, I am an artichoke activist..

Eat clams!

27 views today! We rule. So I’m in Anthropology class being a bad girl. And I can’t spell Anthropology. (That’s spelled correctly, but it took me like five minutes. Hyperbole…) I am the ultimate multi-tasker, doing three things at once: writing this, taking notes, and talking to a friend on AIM. 

I’m hoping to get hyper soon…I don’t have any inspiration yet. Mike is signed on to AIM with his phone, but I’m pretty sure he’s in opera practice right now…poor boy. Ok, story time!

Once there was pig named Steve. He liked to dance in the middle of the street. One day he was break-dancing in the street. Then a car came by. It hit him and he died. The end.

That was lame. So is this class. Don’t make me sit through three hours of secular discussion on religion. Don’t even get me started. I can’t even listen. I’m not alone, however, which lessens the horrendousness. Is that a word? I doubt it. I attach “-ness” to the ends of everything. It’s not a word; I just checked. I think I’m going to write a poem now. Check ya later. (What exactly does that mean, anyway?)

Dude, we’re getting views! Awesome. This is Court, by the bye. Seeing as Mike never introduces himself. I wonder if people can tell the difference if we don’t say who’s writing. Or commenting. I’ve commented under this name and under morninglullabies. Hmm…random anatomical word of the day is..noooo, I forgot!!! Ok, um, darn. Sorry. Got you all excited for nothing. I need to do homework now, actually, but I just wanted to say that JOHN MAYER ROCKS MY WORLD and I’M GOING TO SEE HIM LIVE THIS SUMMER!!! So yeah. Shabang.

You haven’t heard from me yet, but this is Courtney (or “Courto!” as Mike is now fond of saying). So far Mike’s been getting all the arbitrary inspiration for this dealio, mostly because he stays up till three AM, but I’m about to give it a shot…”Jesus wanted His disciples to learn…erm, something something dark side.” That’s what happens when you don’t pay attention at Seven24! Here’s another: “I told you, once you come you can never leave. That is if you want to leave legally.” Which leads us to…Adventure story time!

It was Saturday night. Mike had just taken the Myers-Briggs personality test for the sixteenth time and gotten the same result as the first time he took it. Kylie and I had been waiting (and waiting, and waiting…) so we could set off on what would be a very interesting night….

After a rather awkward visit with some of Mike’s and my old-time peeps, we began to search for Questhaven. It helped to enhance the eery mood that we talked about real-life stalkers (the street name, haha), and finally we found the windy road. Mike expected corpses to run out in front of the car at any moment, and badly wanted to get out and walk around, but Kylie and I would not allow it. If a person were to appear in front of the car, we were not stopping, Kylie said. As we got to the end of Questhaven, Mike gave us the fright of our lives: “LOOK A PERSON!” Kylie and I screamed and she hit the brakes (so much for not stopping, haha). There really was a person, but it was not a dead person. It was a security guard. The scary cult church at the end of the road had a “Christ is Risen!” banner across its gate, which badly disappointed Mike, as did the name of the Elfin Forest, where we headed next. That road was not quite as windy and scary, but we continued our conversation about demon hauntings (again, real-life stuff, very scary). Once we finally turned around to go back, we came across a car parked on the side of the road: uh-oh. As soon as we passed it, the lights went on, and then it seemed to follow us, but with its lights off. Mike finally got freaked out, and after a minute or two we concluded it was not still following us. Once back in the San Elijo neighborhood that sits on the outskirts of both Questhaven and the Elfin Forest, Mike told us that once we came we could never leave…and then the one-way streets threatened to trap us in circles forever. “I told you, once you come, you can never leave. That is if you want to leave legally.”

And the rest is history.

Happy Bunnies frolick in a field.

They eat candy corn and pick their noses.

They flick their boogers into Christina Aguilera’s hair.

When she tries to get them out she realizes her hair is gone,

because the boogers are acidic waste.

Darkness closes in on the Happy Bunny Land.

and soon these critters are rabid (haha rabid sounds like rabbit) with fury.

With their eyes gone down to a beady red,

they sharpen their claws as they get ready to maul an oblivious victim.

Flesh is torn through and devoured as though an autopsy took place,

and now Happy Bunny Land is referred to as Elfin Forest.

Elfin Forest, the place where cute little critters turn into rabid serial killers at night.

But if I were you, I’d just watch out for the acidic boogers,

because we all like our hair.

The End.

There was this god. He was grand…. and awesome….. and amazing. He pooped upon a poor chicken….. farm with decrepit cats that played…… cards. The cards were thrown across my….. eye… and ate my… face. That little boy had a small……. toe, that protruded from his…… forhead. Brittney Spears..shaved her..leg on tuesday, but it grew back… so she went to see…. Dr. Krivorkian. He cut off her…. Navel and.. ate it. It grew exceedingly large and hairy. After time it became…cancerous..and lifelike. He gave birth to my…sister.. and screamed.. “AUGH” and then he… died.

the end.

Help! I’m trapped in a fortune cookie factory and my unventilated truck to transport illegals blew up! So this is me..the raging tiger.. attempting to blog, however i’m in an oddd..dd..d. mood. yepps. Im waiting for Madi to meet me at panera so we can chill til we meet up with kylie. haha personality tests rock my meta-carpal coverings! Gasp a fat man. If you stare at people long enough, they get uncomfortable, and make interesting facial expressions… though i never have the guts to stare all too long… though if I do, I generally pretend that I am staring at something behind them. heehee puts my conscience at ease… so blogs…they…are.. interesting. I think that I will make a habit of writing them around 1 a.m. every night. My weirdest thoughts come to play then. ha. ok bye.