Artichoke, Fartichoke… smelly old hearts.

Keep them in the fridge, and they might grow tart (like your grandpa)

They’re blue and like to eat green chunkies with your auntie at high noon.

They’re devilishly handsome and make any greasey girl swoon!

OH NO! Don’t you see????

When you put them in boiling water, not only do they drown!!! But they can’t speak!!

How can they tell you that the boiling water is scalding them when they can’t speak???

You cruel, inartichoke felbeastinal!!!!

Burn in pots and pans for your horrible awefulleries!

HOOT HOOT, shut up! You can’t talk owl! You’re burning in pots and pans!

Jittery dittery, giggly lil buggy choke-a-heart. Sing me a song to put out my back!

You run down the street,

STOP! DROP! ROLLLLLLLLLL you’re on bubbly water!

Gasp! Chinese fire drill it to the next depot.

Ms. Cellulite called.. she wants her cankles back.

Artichoke Fartichoke….smelly old grandpas

Keep them in the fridge and watch rigimortis set in. (like your expecto patronum!)

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, I am an artichoke activist..

Eat clams!